My Sibling's Struggle Read online

  Angrily, he pushes my hand away, glaring at me. “I’m here because I want to apologise to Seb, and to you. I need help. I can’t do this on my own. I was just...” He shakes his head. “I was not in a good headspace yesterday. I said things I really shouldn’t have said. I know that. I know that I shouldn’t say things in anger, but sometimes...” He pulls up a shoulder. “Sometimes it’s hard to stop myself.”

  That, I know everything about. Sometimes it’s really hard to do the right thing instead of the immediate response that your mind comes up with. “Let’s go inside. But if you don’t keep your outbursts under control, I will personally drag you outside and put you on the next bus into the city.”

  I hope that things won’t get as heated today as they got yesterday morning. I don’t like it, especially the way they seem to hurt Seb, how upset they make him.

  But if Dan really is here to apologise, I’m not going to turn him away. He’s right, he needs help, and I know that no matter what, Seb will worry about him. And so will I...

  The kitchen is very quiet as we’re all sitting at the table, Dan on one side, Seb and me on the other side.

  “I’m sorry.” Dan’s voice is low, he glances up at us for a few moments and then looks at his hands. “I’m really sorry for the things I said yesterday. I didn’t really mean them. They just...” He moves his hands in front of him on the table, before letting them fall flat. “I knew that they would hurt you. So, I said them. Because I needed to hurt you in the moment. But I didn’t mean them. I just...” He sighs. “I’m really sorry.”

  I glance at Seb, at the way he’s staring at his younger brother.

  “Then why did you say them?” Seb’s voice is filled with emotion, but he’s keeping his face as neutral as possible.

  “Because I didn’t want to be the only one hurting. Everyone was looking at me like I was evil, and I...” Dan stops, balling his hands into fists, then flattening them on the table again. “I shouldn’t have said that you’re ruining your life by getting pregnant. I don’t even... I don’t even believe it. I just knew it would hurt you. I took it out on you because you were the easiest target. I was wrong and I know that. I’m so sorry, for everything.”

  I shake my head, sighing. “You can’t keep doing this, Dan. You really can’t.”

  “I know. I want to do better, but then...” He moves his hands, making a motion like an explosion with one of his hands at the side of his head. “Then my anger and frustration get the better of me and I say things that I really shouldn’t say. The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself. I don’t want to hurt you, or anyone, it just... It gets the better of me.” He’s looking at Seb, his head slightly down, his eyes sad. “I’m really sorry.”

  Seb nods slowly and sits up a little straighter. “What if you come to live with Mia and me for a while?”

  I blink at Seb and Dan also stares at him. That seemed to come out of nowhere.

  “What?” Dan sounds incredulous.

  “What if you come to live with us for a while? You can crash on the couch, it’s very comfy, I know from experience, and you can find a place to work in the city. The city there is nothing like the city here. You won’t know anyone apart from Mia and me, and Hailey and her family, if you run into them. This way, you won’t be out in the world on your own, but you can still try out new things, a new life.” Seb seems so calm when he says it, though I have no idea when he came up with this plan.

  “Our parents won’t let me stay with you without explaining to them why I have to leave.” Dan frowns.

  “You’re going to have to do that anyway.” Seb’s voice is quiet. “You can’t just take off and leave everyone behind. You’re going to have to explain to them what’s going on, why you’re doing this. There’s no way around that. I’m just giving you an option to consider for after that.”

  Dan quickly shakes his head, panic in his gaze. “No. I can’t tell them. Not now. Not... No. I can’t do that.”

  I level a look at him. “I agree with Seb. You’re going to—”

  Dan opens his mouth, his panic turning into anger. He’s about to interrupt me when I purposefully stop and quietly glare at him. He closes his mouth again, his eyes still filled with upset, but he crosses his arms over his chest, squeezing his lips together. When he really manages to keep his angry words inside, I continue.

  “You’re really going to have to explain the situation to them, there’s no way around that. But Seb is giving you an option to be away from home, from your parents, from most people you grew up with, letting you build your own life. Between you living with Seb or you going out on your own, which one do you think your parents are more likely to agree with?”

  Dan nods slowly, letting out a long breath. “I guess.”

  Seb moves slightly, his voice quiet but stern. “The choice isn’t between staying and facing whatever comes your way or leaving all of this behind.” His voice turns pained and he grabs my hand as he swallows hard. “It’s between...” Seb’s voice breaks as he quickly blinks. “It’s between keeping a relationship with your family and... And throwing all of that away.”

  Fuck. Hailey. The reason Seb is so set on keeping Dan here is because of how his grandparents kicked Hailey out of the house when they found out she was pregnant. Seb’s daddy stood up to them and took care of her against their wishes, and his grandparents on his daddy’s side are sometimes still cold towards his daddy and Hailey. His aunts and uncles on that side are fine, but his grandparents are a different story. And he doesn’t want a rift like that to happen in his own family.

  Dan’s eyes widen, realisation setting in for him too. “I’m sorry. I don’t... I don’t want to lose you. None of you. I just need... I just need to be away for a while.”

  Seb nods, getting himself back under control. “If you stay with Mia and me, I’m only there until the summer. I’ll probably not even be there that much, at least not most weekends and not during holidays. So...” He shrugs. “It means half a year of living with me and with Mia, and after that... Our dads might even let you stay there longer. Mia still has at least three more years of university left, probably more, depending on what she’s going to specialise in. So, it’s not like the place won’t be available.”

  Dan seems to think it over now.

  Seb’s voice turns softer, serious but also soothing. “I would really feel much better if you’d stay with us. Not so that we can keep an eye on you or whatever, but so that I know that you’ll be safe.” He’s got tears in his eyes which he quickly wipes away. “Please, think it over. The city is big, nobody there will know you, but at least you’ll have a place to stay. A place where you’ll be able to sleep and you’ll not have to worry about things like where your next meal will come from.”

  I nod, then remember something that Dan had said before. “And if you really want to help people who are in need, I bet there are a lot of organisations who can use a guy like you. Someone with experience in a lot of different things. Someone who is happy to put in hard work. Who knows how to organise things and how to get people to follow the plan.”

  Dan’s face falls, his eyes going dark. “I don’t...” He sighs. “I’m not smart like you two. What you’re saying is...” He shakes his head. “I’d just disappoint them.”

  I lean forward some. “You don’t have to be smart.” I wait until he looks up at me. “You have experiences. You already know how to do things. It’s not about being smart, it’s about knowing things, and knowing how things work. You can let other people worry about the details, but your experiences, they’re going to be useful.”

  He nods, though he doesn’t look so sure. “If you say so. I don’t see how. But, I guess?”

  Damn. This guy has many more problems going on than simply passing or failing his exams. He’s got big self-esteem issues, and it’s why he’s been so defeatist about everything. He’s comparing himself to people around him, people who are totally different from him, and he’s not coming out favourable in tho
se comparisons, at least not in his eyes.

  I take Seb’s hand, squeezing softly. I hope that Dan takes Seb’s offer. Not just because I agree with Seb that I would feel better if Dan was somewhere where we knew he’d be safe, but also because I think he needs to get away for a while. Explore his life on his own terms.

  I understand that need, though for me it expressed in wanting to keep working instead of going to college, because I already knew what I wanted, where I wanted to go, and this was the best way to get there. But for Dan, it’s different.

  Now, let’s hope that Mia agrees with the plan, and then to try and get their parents to go along with it. Especially when they find out how Dan got into this situation in the first place... That might not be so easy...

  Chapter Seven

  Seb

  I handed in two of my essays last night, well before their deadlines, and now I’ve only got one essay left, which doesn’t have to be in before the end of next week. But today, none of that matters as Destin and I are going on a trip.

  Destin took today, tomorrow and Saturday off work. His daddy agreed to it, if he promised to put in extra hours over the holiday weeks, which was an easy enough choice. Destin said it was a great excuse to get out of holiday prep with the family, if he has to work. Which, I can see the appeal of that.

  The last time we rented a place for just the two of us, we ended up in a bungalow where we didn’t arrive until the middle of the night, and then I went into heat that same weekend. The bungalow wasn’t much, but it was the only thing we could find on such short notice.

  This time, we’ve got a much nicer place, since I didn’t have to book it at quite literally the last minute, as we were already on the road, without a destination in mind. Since we decided to go on this trip two days ago, I was able to spend a couple of hours looking around the different websites for a place I actually liked. And it means that we’ve got time to get groceries on our way to the house, which is definitely a plus. This time, we won’t have to rely on local fast food places or whatever they have in a corner store or small store nearby. What I understood from Destin, he’s planning on taking full advantage of it too...

  With the holidays coming up, we just wanted a couple of days to ourselves, before we had to do all the family responsibilities and everything. With so many of our friends and families always spending the holidays together and many birthdays on top of that, the end of December and the start of January are always really busy, either preparing for yet another celebration or cleaning up from the previous one. And all of it will be spent with way too many people around.

  So, we just wanted a couple of days to ourselves, especially since with our mating and my pregnancy, we have no clue how much ‘fun’ all of it will be. We desperately need this to prepare for all of that. That, and, ehm...

  The last time we had sex was the weekend I went into heat. We’ve groped around a little, often getting rudely disturbed by siblings or other family members being loud in one of the rooms nearby, but that’s been all. And, to be fair, I kind of want it. Keeping my hands off Destin has been getting harder and harder. I want to know what it feels like to have sex with him without my mind all messed up from heat.

  For the last two days, since we planned the trip, that’s probably been on my mind the most... What it will feel like to have sex with Destin without being in heat and actually being a hundred per cent there and experience it all.

  But first... First, I need to call my university, tell them about my pregnancy. Get it out of the way so that I can properly relax this weekend and not worry about any of that.

  I stare at my phone, glaring at it is more like it, really not wanting to do it. I hate how the university has these rules about the time span in which I need to tell them. If I’m too late, they will put a mark on my record for ‘hiding important information’ from them. I asked both Mia and Hailey, and they both confirmed that this ‘tell us within the first six weeks after you’ve been mated, or else...’ requirement is only for Omegas, not for Betas who might get pregnant, just for Omegas. And there are no requirements like this at all for Alphas who might have gotten an Omega pregnant, they don’t have to tell the university at all.

  It’s fucked up. It’s so fucked up.

  Every time I think of it, I get angry and annoyed, which is part of the reason why I’ve not called yet. If I send the university a message instead of calling, I know that they’ll ask me ‘important’ questions in five follow up emails, which they’ll expect me to reply to in under five minutes or something of the kind, and then they’ll still want to call me to ‘confirm’ some things anyway. So, instead of putting myself through all of that, I’m just going to call them directly. It should be the road of least resistance, even if it’s the one I hate the most.

  I pick up my phone, type in the number that I’ve got written down on a scrap of paper, and then put it to my ear. It rings a couple of times, and instead of a person, I have to navigate through a computer-based menu. Damn...

  I don’t want to speak to someone in a specific department, just the Student Support Office, which is of course at the end of a long list of all the different departments. Once I’m finally in the menu for the Student Support Office, I get a new list of topics that I can choose from. Is the reason I’m calling because I have questions about essays or exams, because I need information about student housing, or maybe I’m calling because I’m applying to the university. Why does it have to be so complicated? I just want to talk to someone in the office who can help me. It’s like they made it difficult on purpose.

  Four menus later, someone finally picks up, their voice distracted. “Good morning. You’ve reached the Student Support Office. What can I help you with this lovely morning?” The woman’s voice sounds upbeat but fake, like she’s reading from a script.

  I clear my throat, suddenly very nervous. “I’d... I’d like to...” I take a deep breath. “I’m pregnant. I’d like to... report it?” Report sounds so wrong, but it’s the only word I can come up with right now.

  The woman is quiet for a beat, but then her voice has turned even more fake, an edge of sugary sweetness to it, making my skin crawl. “Congratulations. That’s beautiful news. Pregnancy is such a blessing. Are you calling to unenroll from your classes? If you give me your name and student number, it only takes a few seconds for me to do it, saving you a lot of hassle.”

  “What?! No. I saw that I had to tell the university about it. I don’t want to unenroll. I want to keep going to classes.” The fuck? What the actual fuck? I want to scream, but I keep quiet, my voice controlled.

  “Right.” The woman’s voice changes, disappointment and disapproval evident. “In that case, we strongly advise students to have a meeting with one of the university counsellors, preferably as soon as possible. Do you have time on Monday?” Before I can answer, she speaks again. “And we would urge you to have your Alpha and also both of your Alpha parents with you.”

  I glare to the other side of the kitchen, gritting my teeth. “I’ll see what I can do about that. But Monday sounds like it should work.” I hope.

  “Great. Will nine in the morning work? It’s the only spot we’ve got left so early in the week, and you’ve kind of cut it close. Most people need multiple meetings before they’re given the clear to continue to go to classes, to protect your health. You understand, right?”

  Fucking hell?

  I want to scream, I want to scream so loudly, but keep it inside as I give my details to confirm the meeting.

  There goes not having to worry about the university thing this weekend. Now I’ll probably worry about it even more. A meeting, on Monday morning... That does not bode well.

  Destin is sitting across from me at the table in the house that we’ve rented. He looks so handsome in the candlelight and he’s even wearing a button-up. It spans his shoulders a tad too tightly. He’s gained some muscle since he wore this at the graduation gala at the start of the summer. Working in the orchard has done him a l
ot of good, a lot of good.

  He lets out a low laugh and my eyes shoot to his face, my cheeks colouring at the look in his eyes. “If you don’t watch out, you’re going to start drooling soon.”

  My face burns even more and I quickly look away. “It’s your fault. You put that shirt on. It’s too tight on you. We’re going to have to get you a new shirt for the Christmas dinners.” I try to keep my voice even, but I’m very aware of the hoarseness that has slipped into it.

  “Well...” His voice quietening, turning seductive, the tone making it very hard for me not to look back at him. “I could take it off... If that helps?”

  How am I supposed to keep a straight face when he says something like that? “It probably doesn’t... But if it makes you feel better, you should do it.” I try and fail to make it sound like an offhand comment. My dick is starting to strain in my jeans and I’m struggling to not reach down and adjust myself right now. Just thinking of shirtless Destin is making me even harder than I already am.

  He lets out a throaty laugh and pushes away from the table, standing up and sauntering to my side of the table. Then he leans close, his lips close to my ear as I catch a whiff of his body wash. Fuck... He’s even showered with my favourite body wash. “You’re not the only one who is having trouble staying focused, you know? That shirt looks great on you.”

  A shiver goes through me and I bite on my lower lip, closing my eyes, as I suppress a moan. Fuck.

  For the first time, we’ve got all the time in the world, the place to ourselves and we can do whatever we want when we want to. Destin is definitely taking advantage of that, turning his seduction skills up to a hundred.

  He has one hand on the back of my chair, trapping me between him and the chair, as his other hand starts at the top button of my button-up and deftly opens it. He trails his fingers over the exposed skin, until he reaches the next button, which he also opens, and then repeats the process. Everywhere he touches me, my skin heats up, like he’s leaving behind trails of fire. Fuck... He’s so sexy and I need him so much.